Tales from the Urinal - The Conversation

Chaz’s viewpoint – It had been a couple of months since we had been out, but schedules & finances finally aligned, and off we went. “We” consisted of Donna, Shaun, Chris, and me. We ended up at the Yacht club in Plymouth. Now, this is not our normal trip as is not a small dive. It is a rather large dive. The waitresses wear bikinis or lingerie, so we mainly go for the scenery, and occasionally, well once, for the band.

We are sitting there catching up, drinking, and watching the waitresses flirt for bigger tips. Most everything was good, except our waitress was a little “blonder” than the normal waitress found here. She was having a hard time remembering to stop by and see if we need anything else. As we sit there waiting for her to come by and get us some refills, Shaun decides to go to the bathroom. A minute or two later, Chris decides to go find our waitress and get us some beer.

Shaun comes back and he is a bit pale. He leans over the table and asks us, “Do I look gay?” We reply with a resounding “Yes”. I mean what else would you expect friends to say? Shaun says, “No, seriously. Would you take me for a homosexual?” We said, “Maybe, but we don’t know as we don’t look at people and wonder if they are gay, unless it is very obvious, like flaming.” At this point, Chris comes back to the table, says our beers will be here in a moment, and sits down. Shaun begins to tell his tale…

“I think this guy just tried to pick me up in bathroom. I am standing at the urinal doing my thing when some guy comes and starts using the urinal next to me. The guy then starts talking about how this is nice, it’s been a long time, and how we should do this more often. I was scared. I finished pissing and go the hell out of there. I don’t mind gay guys, but it is really weird to be hit upon.”

At that point, Chris sets down his beer, looks at Shaun, and starts laughing so hard he almost snorts his beer.

“That gay guy was me, you asshole”

Chris begins his tale…

“I had to piss, so I went to the john. Shaun was there, so I talked about how it’s nice to get out again as it had been awhile and how we should do this more often. Shaun finished and left. I was wondering why he didn’t say anything.”

The lesson learned here is that Shaun has very strict rules regarding public bathrooms. You stare straight ahead and down. You never talk to any one and if anyone talks to you they must want your body.