The Demise of "Charlies Too" – Brooke’s first dance

Chaz’s viewpoint – We have an annual summer party and over the years this has stretched from a Saturday party to a Friday night thru Sunday afternoon party. No complaints from Donna and I as we love company. Anyways, this Friday night party was my first as the pig was done the day before, so I could attend with no repercussions the next day. We walked down to “Charlies Too”.

Now, “Charlies Too” was the favorite dive for the Friday night party, mainly because it was 3 blocks to the west and one block north of our house, so we could walk and everyone could drink. As long as they could walk on the way home, a few times it was a close call, but everyone did manage it. Charlies Too was a typical dive. It had a U-shaped bar, some wobbly tables, two pool tables, & a juke box that mainly played classic rock. It had that distinctive dive smell – cigarette smoke & grease and there were a lot people with mullets. Besides the ability to be walked to, the other real attraction was the bar maids. If you ignored the 4 inch fake finger nails, inflatable breasts, and an occasional missing tooth, then they were pretty in a trailer park sorta way.

Now I know that as Shaun reads this, he is howling in protest about Celeste. The first time we went in, which was in 96 or so, the bar maid was Celeste and she is worthy of howling about. Celeste had a very well defined stomach which was accented by a nice belly button piercing. I think Shaun still has wet dreams about her even though we only saw her twice after the first time.

Well, this Friday’s group included me, Chris, Donna, Brooke (daughter), and Jann (Donna’s best friend). If I remember correctly Shaun was dating someone at the time and had a curfew or something like that. We had tapped the keg earlier in the evening and it was about 11 or so. I think. I really don’t know what time it was, but we decided it was time for Charlies too. We filled up our cups and started walking. Now, most of the walk was fine. Though crossing Merriman (fairly busy, 2 lanes each direction with a turn lane) and not spilling any beer was challenging, but I think we were all professional enough to do it. We leave our cups outside, open the door and enter.

As with most of my stories, here is where things get a bit fuzzy. There were three bar maids, one for the floor & two behind the bar. I recall that they were fairly pretty. I do know I was wondering if their pants were painted on or not, and one was falling out of her top. The place was fairly busy and the bar maids were hopping. They were also killing the profit margin. They were giving out free drinks and mixed drinks were mainly liquor. Bonus for us! As the night went on, the more free stuff and the more liquor in the drinks. Here is some of what I remember –

I was watching the one of the barmaids who was further down the bar. She was facing away from me, but it was apparent she was unbuttoning her pants. Needless to say this interested me, so I pointed Donna toward her so she could also see. The rest were not in the position to see. Donna looks and then looks at me quizzically. I shrug my shoulders and go back to watching. Yes, she was unbuttoning her pants. She then pulled them down a bit. This was quite interesting to watch as they were so tight it took her about a minute to get them down an inch or so. She then began pointing to her groin and talking to the guys at that side of the bar. The guys in the general vicinity almost broke their necks trying to look over the bar at her. They stare for a few moments, then she turns and starts buttoning up. Well, she is now facing me and sees that I very curious, so she stops buttoning up and comes over to our side of the bar. She leans forward and says that she is wearing her special underwear and would we like to see. Donna and I both say “Yes”, at the same time while nodding our heads vigorously.

The bar maid wiggles the pants back down and shows us her thongs. In the appropriate "V" area, the thong has “Joe’s Place” written. Well, while the view was pretty, Donna & I were both a little stumped at the laughter. I look at the bar maid with a questioning look. She points to her rather filled t-shirt that says “Eat at Joes”. This gets the required laughs from Donna and me. It is also the first time that we have been flashed at the same time, not including “Gentlemen’s Clubs”.

A little later, a song comes on the juke box. I don’t remember what it was, but it apparently kicked off the “Coyote Ugly” gene in the bar maids as they got up and began dancing on the bar. I am not joking they were up and gyrating. They were sorta bent over as there really wasn’t much space between the bar and the ceiling, but it was still interesting to watch. After about 45 seconds, there is a commotion a few seats down. It’s Brooke. She has decided that they, the bar maids, aren’t doing it right or don’t have the ass to do it right. “It” being gyrating on the bar. Personally, I didn’t know here was a right or wrong way, I just like to watch. So up she goes. With Chris’s help she is on the bar and showing them how it’s done. She was correct. She could bar dance better than those two. Donna watch for about 5 seconds and decide this was not a mother-daughter bonding moment, so she put her head in arms and stared at the top of the bar.

Side note - I think Brooke had two unfair advantages. First, Brooke is short, so she didn’t have to be bent over, which allowed more mobility. Second, she has inherited the Boozenny butt (Boozenny being from Donna's Mom side); albeit currently smaller, it is the same as and gyrates nicely as Donna’s does! {For Family Members – Sorry about the visual}

Well, the dancing was done. It was getting closer to closing time and someone (Chris) decides its time to do shots. I think that this is mandatory. If you are in the bar later than 1 a.m., someone needs to insist upon doing shots. In our group, that person is normally Chris. Also in our group this is a bad idea because it brings out the Kleptomaniac in my wife. There is something about shot glasses that makes her want to steal them. I have offered to buy them when this urge hits, but she says it’s not the same.

So we do the shots. I have no real memory of this, but since we now own five shot glasses from Charlies Too and there were five of us. It is a logical conclusion. I do remember that after we left, I found one in my pants pocket. Jann pulled one of them out of her cleavage. I am not sure why she didn’t put all five there as there was enough to hold them, but she didn’t. I am not sure where the others were hidden and am pretty sure I don’t want to know.

Not sure if the stolen shot glasses brought financial ruin or if the entire bar maid staff were humiliated by Brooke’s dancing and refused to work anymore, but alas that was the last night of Charlies Too. They put up a close sign and never opened back up. Two years later, it was demolished and a Walgreens put up in its place. This ends the tale of Demise of Charlies Too.