Tales from Down River – Little Joint
It’s been almost a year exactly since we discovered the bars down river, so I decided you should hear our stories. I chose to be DD as we were going downriver (Allen Park, Lincoln Park, and Wyandotte) and I was most familiar with the roads.
Last October, Chris, Donna, and myself were out bar hopping. We were in Dearborn and Chris & Donna were well into their buzz. However, the Dearborn bars were crowded, so we decided to head south-ish and see what we could find.
The 1st visit or Vampires, Vampires, Vampires every where – We were driving down the M-39 (Southfield) and saw it, Little Joint. It looked like a perfect dive. It is a three story brick building with a couple windows boarded up. The name, Little Joint, was painted on the side of the building. There was a trailer park behind it with a broken down fence. The fence had a hole to allow easy access from the trailer park to the bar. As I said – Perfect!
As I stated earlier, Donna is already feeling no pain and Chris has a perma-grin on his face. We walk in. There are about 10 people in the place, six at the bar and a foursome at the pool table, and it is quiet, very quiet. Of course, everyone is staring at us in doorway with the “who the Frak are you” look on their faces. I point Chris and Donna to a table and go to the bar to order. The barmaid was a big woman. I would say about 6’ 2 and well proportioned, especially at the top. I order 3 beers and realize that it is like a tennis match. Everyone is still staring at Chris & Donna then turning to stare at me. Heads going back and forth. Them to me. Me to them and it is still awful quite. Alas, the quietness did not last. I hear my lovely wife speaking to Chris.
“Thhiss is jusst like that movie. You know the one. The one with the SSselma and the Sssnake. Dusk to Dawn. Yeah, it’s like that. They’re...Vampires. Everyone here is a freakin Vampire and they’re going to bite us.”
Now remember, they are at a table and I am across the room at the bar. If I am hearing this so is the entire bar. Now, everyone including myself is staring at Chris & Donna. I am not sure if Chris is aware of what is being said as he is just sitting there smiling and nodding his head. I think he was in Husband mode..just nod and say yes dear. I grab my drinks and head back to the table. Donna continues…
“Blood sucking vampires and..and they’re going to eat. Jusht like the movie. Hic…shit..up. Hiccup.”
I get back to the table and ask Donna to be a little more discrete. I didn’t think they were vampires, but they might not appreciate being called that. Donna just nodded and hiccupped some more. After about 5 minutes of hiccupping, the barmaid came very to see if there was anything we wanted. I asked for a Lemon drop to cure Donna’s hiccups. The bar was out of sugar, so no lemon drops for you
The barmaid came over and said she had the perfect cure for the hiccups. She had a shot glass with a clear liquid in it. “Trust me,” she said to Donna, “it will work.” Donna downed it like a soldier and waited. After a few moments, it was apparent that it worked, so we were happy. After finishing our beers, we got ready to leave, but I had to hit the latrine first. As I walked in, I realized that it was a true dive. They had a life-sized cut out of “The Duke”, that’s John Wayne for you non redneck people, on the door. I am sure this was to remind those that couldn’t read that this was the Men’s room. Hmm, wonder what, if anything was on the Ladies room door. One day I will remember to ask Donna.
2nd visit – Hiccup - About 6 months later, we went again and it was pretty non-eventful, except that as we walked in, Donna got the hiccups again. Again the barmaid, fixed it with a shot, which turned out to be bitters, we had our drink and left.
3rd visit – Bloody brains & cleavage - Fast forward to this October, it’s the four of us, Shaun, Chris, Donna, and I. I am DD again. We arrive and take our normal seats. It’s a bit busy this time and the barmaid (same one) takes our order. When she comes back, she mentions that there is a special on Bloody Brains, which are shots that look really gross, but taste like strawberry shortcake. I can’t remember what was in it other than strawberry schnapps. As DD I was able to avoid drinking it. While there was a few rude, imagine that, comments about the consistency of the drink, the other three seemed to enjoy it.
I went to visit “The Duke” and when I returned, we got ready to leave. Being a good barmaid, the barmaid stopped by and asked if we wanted another round. We glanced at each other and decided to decline. The bar maid put her hand on her hip and did a little head shake.
“Now, you come in here twice a year and only stay for one drink. Whats up with that? Don’t you like me!”
We explained that we were bar hopping and to maximize the number of bars, we usually only stay for one. The barmaid then leaned over to pick up the tip and in the process showed us her generous endowments. She was right next to Shaun and he was staring like a kid outside a toy store. Of course the bar maid noticed, but she was very accepting about it, which is why we like her. She put her arms together and squeezed. This caused her endowments to pop out like balloons. Picture Dolly Parton.
Shaun’s mouth dropped open and like a true barmaid, she offered to do this every time she came over, if we stayed for another drink. We still declined, so she upped the ante. She offered to pick up a dollar from the floor without bending her knees, just for us to stay for one more round. We were concerned that Shaun might have a seizure, so we declined and left to the next bar…
Last October, Chris, Donna, and myself were out bar hopping. We were in Dearborn and Chris & Donna were well into their buzz. However, the Dearborn bars were crowded, so we decided to head south-ish and see what we could find.
The 1st visit or Vampires, Vampires, Vampires every where – We were driving down the M-39 (Southfield) and saw it, Little Joint. It looked like a perfect dive. It is a three story brick building with a couple windows boarded up. The name, Little Joint, was painted on the side of the building. There was a trailer park behind it with a broken down fence. The fence had a hole to allow easy access from the trailer park to the bar. As I said – Perfect!
As I stated earlier, Donna is already feeling no pain and Chris has a perma-grin on his face. We walk in. There are about 10 people in the place, six at the bar and a foursome at the pool table, and it is quiet, very quiet. Of course, everyone is staring at us in doorway with the “who the Frak are you” look on their faces. I point Chris and Donna to a table and go to the bar to order. The barmaid was a big woman. I would say about 6’ 2 and well proportioned, especially at the top. I order 3 beers and realize that it is like a tennis match. Everyone is still staring at Chris & Donna then turning to stare at me. Heads going back and forth. Them to me. Me to them and it is still awful quite. Alas, the quietness did not last. I hear my lovely wife speaking to Chris.
“Thhiss is jusst like that movie. You know the one. The one with the SSselma and the Sssnake. Dusk to Dawn. Yeah, it’s like that. They’re...Vampires. Everyone here is a freakin Vampire and they’re going to bite us.”
Now remember, they are at a table and I am across the room at the bar. If I am hearing this so is the entire bar. Now, everyone including myself is staring at Chris & Donna. I am not sure if Chris is aware of what is being said as he is just sitting there smiling and nodding his head. I think he was in Husband mode..just nod and say yes dear. I grab my drinks and head back to the table. Donna continues…
“Blood sucking vampires and..and they’re going to eat. Jusht like the movie. Hic…shit..up. Hiccup.”
I get back to the table and ask Donna to be a little more discrete. I didn’t think they were vampires, but they might not appreciate being called that. Donna just nodded and hiccupped some more. After about 5 minutes of hiccupping, the barmaid came very to see if there was anything we wanted. I asked for a Lemon drop to cure Donna’s hiccups. The bar was out of sugar, so no lemon drops for you
The barmaid came over and said she had the perfect cure for the hiccups. She had a shot glass with a clear liquid in it. “Trust me,” she said to Donna, “it will work.” Donna downed it like a soldier and waited. After a few moments, it was apparent that it worked, so we were happy. After finishing our beers, we got ready to leave, but I had to hit the latrine first. As I walked in, I realized that it was a true dive. They had a life-sized cut out of “The Duke”, that’s John Wayne for you non redneck people, on the door. I am sure this was to remind those that couldn’t read that this was the Men’s room. Hmm, wonder what, if anything was on the Ladies room door. One day I will remember to ask Donna.
2nd visit – Hiccup - About 6 months later, we went again and it was pretty non-eventful, except that as we walked in, Donna got the hiccups again. Again the barmaid, fixed it with a shot, which turned out to be bitters, we had our drink and left.
3rd visit – Bloody brains & cleavage - Fast forward to this October, it’s the four of us, Shaun, Chris, Donna, and I. I am DD again. We arrive and take our normal seats. It’s a bit busy this time and the barmaid (same one) takes our order. When she comes back, she mentions that there is a special on Bloody Brains, which are shots that look really gross, but taste like strawberry shortcake. I can’t remember what was in it other than strawberry schnapps. As DD I was able to avoid drinking it. While there was a few rude, imagine that, comments about the consistency of the drink, the other three seemed to enjoy it.
I went to visit “The Duke” and when I returned, we got ready to leave. Being a good barmaid, the barmaid stopped by and asked if we wanted another round. We glanced at each other and decided to decline. The bar maid put her hand on her hip and did a little head shake.
“Now, you come in here twice a year and only stay for one drink. Whats up with that? Don’t you like me!”
We explained that we were bar hopping and to maximize the number of bars, we usually only stay for one. The barmaid then leaned over to pick up the tip and in the process showed us her generous endowments. She was right next to Shaun and he was staring like a kid outside a toy store. Of course the bar maid noticed, but she was very accepting about it, which is why we like her. She put her arms together and squeezed. This caused her endowments to pop out like balloons. Picture Dolly Parton.
Shaun’s mouth dropped open and like a true barmaid, she offered to do this every time she came over, if we stayed for another drink. We still declined, so she upped the ante. She offered to pick up a dollar from the floor without bending her knees, just for us to stay for one more round. We were concerned that Shaun might have a seizure, so we declined and left to the next bar…
posted by chaz | 11:53 AM
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